Random Words of a Crazy Soul

Young Love

2011-08-02T11:40:00.000-05:00

These days I hear music, see images and breathe in scents that lead me back to you. The young love we shared was reckless, glorious and free. We fought, we held back no punches and always let our hearts speak the brutal truths with a smile. Our hearts collided with no sympathy, crashed with no remorse and burned with fires destroying every thing we once knew. We stood tall with naive smiles facing the world ready for the obstacles that led to our self destruction. Still I smile knowing I walked through the fire with you and though these scars were deep I enjoyed every single cut! Thanks for the memories and I hope you still burn as bright as when we walked away from the bridge we both burned...

May life bring you the love your heart always fought for....

Summer Love

2011-05-25T11:33:00.002-05:00

They say Summer Love Burns as bright as the July Fourth Fireworks leaving a spectacle for the stars to smile about and in that same moment it will fade back into the dark leaving a lasting impression on your soul...

Sitting on the roof cigarette smoke gently touching the night sky as I look back up at the night sky that once shared the moments of tender, love and care those many moons when I was younger. Your name still lingers on my tongue when the night lights shine these desolate nights. I take another puff of the cigarette smiling as I remember when we took those photo booth pictures making random faces to each other as two teenagers with all the answers for the game of love. We laughed at all the people who stared at with crazy faces as we held hands and smiled, young love in full affect. L.O.V.E. was the movement how those moments were as innocent as our first kiss. We held our hearts with so much pride once upon a time. I still talk to the moon asking it to send you kisses and love like we used to say to each other when our nights weren't being shared...

At times I lay in bed remembering the last time I spent with you lying on my chest with tears as you looked out the window telling me that this was the end. I could feel your heavy heart drenched in tears and silent screams. I stayed strong for you and let you know that the future isn't written until we put the pen to the paper. Our hands clasped as I told you, "Lets write a story we can both be happy with." We were naive but growing up is a process and hard lessons are best learned. When you said goodbye that day I felt that this could be for the last time but I hoped and believed in the love we shared...

Just like most summer love we laughed, we smiled, we kissed, we hoped and believed before reality found its place in our world. When the pen first starting writing our story we held so tightly to our hearts but our world begin to build a whole new world outside of our summer dreams. We let the ink dry up in our pens as the next summer came and with it new stories we wrote without each other in it. I know we both look back at old pictures and memories remembering how in one summer we loved and though it may not be shining it was a moment where L.O.V.E. was more then just a word, it was a word that we brought to LIFE!

Dear Moon,
Carry these feelings of love to her soul and may she feel loved and know that my love for her will never be lost. Live Free, Love Strong and Grow to be the woman I know you will be...I love you still....

Farewell,
Summer Love

Kuwait

2011-01-29T12:31:00.002-06:00

This has been years in the making...
When I first came out of the back of the airport I was a bit taken back by the way the had it set up! I had to walk all the way down to the doors to meet my dad. To be honest I felt like I should have danced or put on a show for everyone on the sides watching me walk down the line. Maybe next time I will just bust out in song and dance! ;) My first car ride through your streets was a bit blinded by the sand storm but I can honestly say I am a fan of the sand storms now. I've driven in them for years and always enjoy a good challenge! I still remember my first tornado of sand and that was a good ride. I came here at the age of 24 and my have the times changed and the world sure looks a bit different when your in your own corner of coffee shop. I have grown into a man that is worlds apart from the guy I used to be in the states. So with this I say I am glad it was Kuwait the country I came to grow, The country I came to love and the country I've come to know as home.

I walked of the plane and found my self in a world that truly is a world of its own. The culture, the smells hanging in the streets from the local restaurants, the sound of the mosque going off in the distant, these were things I have never known yet after all these years this is the place I am most comfortable. I finally learn the true meaning of the phrase "FREEDOM ON THE ROAD!" Driving down the highways, rolling through the neighborhood, cruising in the desert. One message I think I should put out there if your going to speed don't speed by the cameras and if your going to be a rebel without a cause don't run a red light when there is a camera cause you will pay for your so called awesomeness! My first time through the little "Mom and Pop Shops" (i like to call em that) was pretty wild. I can say this its 10 times better then any flee market I've been to in the states! Also I'd like to take a moment to thank the car repair guys down in Fahaheel You helped me repair some minor damages and saved me the trip to the police station. ;) One of my FAVORITE Things bout Kuwait is how easy it is to fix minor scratches and bumps on a car. In the states it would have cost me an arm, leg and a piece of my heart! While here I was blessed with being able to see many concerts meeting a gazillion random people and living a life I'm pretty sure makes me one lucky dude. I'll say this to everyone if you haven't had the the opportunity to join in the festivities of a concert then you are missing out on a world of FUN! Don't be that person that misses out. I get confused for being Arabic a lot here which has been fun. Randomly being talked to in Arabic or the best moment was someone actually explaining to me why black folks call themselves "nigga." For all yall that know me well yall know the deal I don't need an explanation. However it was funny hearing someone try to explain it to me because they thought I was Kuwaiti. I've had some pretty good walks down by the scientific center! ;) Good times every time. I have more but this is all I want to say for now... Thanks Kuwait and as of right now its looking to be 2 full weeks left for me being at home...

I Loved Our Imperfect Life

2011-01-13T13:26:00.003-06:00

I smile thinking of our once crazy life that we had created from the ground up. Now I'm standing beyond the fence where the house we once lived, laughed and loved stands. Pictures still in the frame of moments we shared collecting dust. Little love notes left as they lay. Memories still linger of a past we once held with such care. I always knew the grass was greener on the other side of the fence and to be honest I never wanted greener grass. These imperfections were the perfect place for me. Your words were all I needed to believe. Your kisses brought butterflies to me. Your hugs brought life to me. You were all that my life required... yet here I stand behind the gate looking one last time at a past that I used to scream, "LOVE" from daily... yet now all that has faded and as I walk on to new pastures I can leave knowing that even though this has ended I am ok with it. I can walk away with good memories as my keep sake...

Pages We Shared In This Book Of Life

2011-01-11T13:11:00.003-06:00

I will leave you with a heart intact and a soul as strong as the day we met. My name will be a whisper in your nights that will bring a smile to your lips. Our love once bloomed those winter months, how we lived for the first time in our lives. We shared stories, talked of our what if futures and created moments that are delicate fireworks blazing through space a heavenly moment indeed. Few would ever taste the joy we held so tightly to for those few months, few would ever see the world we created out of conversation, love and silent stares. For these are moments books could never reach and we were characters beyond fiction. What we shared was real, true and honest. We both decided on the last day that it was not goodbye but I will see you soon, even though we both knew it would be years. Though this is written after we left our hearts only true home to face our paths separately I have this feeling beyond all reason that we as far as we are from each other will find one and other again.

P.S. I love you my last true kiss worth sharing.

Under The Street Light....

2010-07-20T21:35:00.001-05:00

I traveled from place to place a friendly smile that you all love to have around. We sit and talk for hours til the burning candles smoked. I'd tell you stories of people that have come to my world and you'd do the same. We touch on past memories of a story we both shared. I tell you how my heart is still standing at the under the street light where we said goodbye to forever. You just slightly turn your head to the side nervously. I tell you it's okay I never liked that part of me jokingly. You tell me your heart still goes back to the street light and cries. You look at me eye tearing up as you tell me your sorry for what happened. My heart jumps back in my chest as I tell you it's okay beautiful. This is the way life works we are but explosions in the sky though we may bring beauty to a world we are bound to destroy some things in our way. I give you a hug a whisper, "my love for you is just as strong as the day we said good. When the smokes settles I hope it's you standing at the end of the isle." she wipes her tears tells me she loves me as she gets up to leave. We both know that our lives are not ready for each other as we walk away waving goodbye....both knowing we will find each other again....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The River Is Flowing With Your Lies

2010-04-28T14:05:00.001-05:00

We traveled a path of disbelief an unwanted truths. We said we make it through. Our promises dangled like icecicles slowly melting. Lies are born in minds with weak ties and hearts are broken by devils with devious smiles. On the tables sits a memory that has now faded from our lives.

You said you had the safety on yet this bullet went through me and the gun is still smoking. You said.... You said....

I laid there beside you as you were slowly planning our demise while I was thanking the Lord for the blessing of you. We fought, we screamed and we broke sentimental things. For what it's worth I always loved you, I always believed we could create what they never believed in.

You said that life without me was never living yet there you are within his arms. Sharing gifts with a smile and I am still standing where you said we'd meet. You said... You said...

This river is flowing with your lies and the fish have all died....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

One Moment That Is Forever Ours

2010-04-08T14:20:00.003-05:00

Outside the rain is pounding against the windows bringing sound to the nights silence. The cold air within the house has me and you snuggled up together lovers lost together. I look into your eyes accepting my fate as the one who will be yours. We share soft hello kisses as you tell me, "Hello babe." I reply, "Hello beautiful." In this moment we have found our paths intertwined with hearts full of love and hope. I take your hand within mine and as our fingers lock with the perfect grasp, I lean closer and taste your lips again. You smile at me as I quickly lick your teeth, you giggle and tell me to stop. I smile and kiss you one more time. I slide behind you and you cuddle up against me as we start to watch the first movie in our movie marathon. We talk, laugh, and take in every bit of this day. As your eyes close I find my self moving your hair out of your face slowly etching every bit of you to memory in this moment. This day will forever be apart of me just as I hope that you will be. Your eyes open to me as you ask, "What you doing baby?" all I can say is, "I am admiring this blessing that is you baby." You smile pull me to you and tell me to sleep with you. We share a good night kiss as our dreams take us away....

I Will Enjoy My Simple Life With A Smile

2010-04-08T10:51:00.005-05:00

I put the key in the door unlock it and as I walk in my world again emotions overwhelm me. This house we have built with our family in mind. I hang my coat on our coat holder as I remember when we bought it you were 8 months pregnant with our first child, Kiana. I still remember rubbing your belly and singing songs to her as I patiently waited for her arrival. Now she is 3 years old full of life and the joy she will bring the world is nothing I have ever witnessed. As I walk down the hall I hear music playing from the kitchen an old Michael Buble song. I smile because every day you cooked you loved to have music playing for you as you sang and put love into your cooking. Now this has become a sight I try to always be around for. Seeing your smile as you cook lights up my world. The way you sing like a bird is a true delight to my ears, but what I have come to love the most is how you dance and perform a song like you were live in concert for 10,000 fans. These moments are truly classic to me and I would never want to be any where in the world but right here with you. Your hair tied up with your favorite cooking apron on is the perfect portrait of beauty to this simple man. I simply say, "Hello Beautiful!" as we shared a small delicate kiss. I look over to see our growing daughter drawing in her new color book with the biggest smile on her face. I give you a hug and kiss your cheek as you ask, "What's wrong babe?" I smile and simply reply, "Baby I love you and what we have made, what we have, what our future holds together." I sit back as I watch my world march to the beat of its own drum and here I am happy. A loving home filled with a beautiful wife an amazing daughter and a hope for this simple world to grow with out any complications. Though I know there will be many new factors, for now I will enjoy my simple life with a smile.....

Someday You Will Be Loved

2010-03-18T10:18:00.004-05:00

She laid silent on a bed soaked in tears of misery, breathing air as stale as past broken promises and with less hope for a future beyond the world she once knew. Her eyes now a distant stare as she looked at old memories of a relationship captured in pictures of a happiness she once knew. She hears a whisper on the wind soft and sweet someday you will be loved...
He sits at the bar slowly sipping on his jack and coke more jack then coke. Carrying his heavy heart as the world around him is full swing laughter, smiles and friends. With every sip and inhale of his bad habit that he would wish would take him from this life. Slowly taking another hit off his cigarette the flashbacks of is day rattle him like an emotional tidal wave. He went to work as any other day kissing his wife of two years he smiled as he said, "goodbye love of my life." He came home early to surprise the woman, her favorite flowers in hand and a love in his heart as he opened the door. He yelled, "Oh beautiful I'm home..." and turned to find her kissing another man before he ran out the back door. The rest was a blur as he jumped back to his new reality in this bar alone burying his dead heart with jack and coke. He looks down and on the napkin he reads "Someday You Will Be Loved." Though hopeless he felt he still thought one day....
She smiled crowded by friends who told her everything will be okay. She looked of strength though her mind and heart felt pain that she had never had to endure. Her friends fed her hope of more fish in the sea and it only gets better yet she'd lost something that had become so significant in her life the man she loved the life she believed was meant to be. Slowly she began to stop listening to them and hear the music her one true way to escape her current world and these words reached her ears and then touched her heart. The radio sang, "You'll be loved, you'll be loved like you have never have known and the memories of me will seem more like bad dreams just a series of blurs like I never occurred and someday you will be loved and someday you will be loved...." With these words she realized that she has found hope....

The Last Tear...

2010-01-20T23:58:00.004-06:00

She woke up tears in her eyes and the sun shining through the curtains. Her heart felt heavy and soul felt as if it was laying on its death bed. As far as she knew this would be her last time for love...for life.... Her mind swept through her memories. How his touch could give her energy she has never felt, how his kiss would bring her to her knees and how just one look from him would bring joy to hear soul. As her mind continued to take her to all those fond memories she came to the reason she is alone in her bed. How he lied of his indiscretions, how he would spend hours within some other woman's arms, how he would kiss her after leaving the other woman. Her Heart instantly went from pain and agony as she gripped the bed sheets to anger and within the anger she found strength. She sat up wiped her tears, caught her breathe and thought to her self this is the last tear I will shed for that man. Her eyes focused as she looked to the curtain smiling, she is over being his weeping willow. Today this is and will be about her life, her tears will be shed for joy and he will no longer hold her heart a prisoner. She exhaled as her mind raced with the new things she will accomplish as she broke the chains that held her hostage to this bed. No more sad movies in black and white, no more past regrets and no more sadness. Her heart will stand on top of the world and smile, her soul will become the survivor that he will miss and her mind will freely explore this brand new world she is apart of! She stood up and walked towards the window personifying her will to overcome the pain she felt. She opened her curtains, let the sun in and with this simple event it was the beginning of her new start in life. She has found the will, the strength to live on and become better then she has been....this is her life....Her arms stretched out holding the curtains looking out beyond her room....she simply smiles and says, "Hello World I'm coming..."

Good Morning Kisses

2010-01-09T08:17:00.003-06:00

She woke up to me playing my guitar filling the air with thoughts of love and and past glorious times. She came up behind me wrapped her arms around me and kissed me one of those soft tender good morning kisses. The type of kiss you savior every time you get one. She listened to me play as she hopped over the chair and sat next to me. I sing to her good morning an she tells me of how she woke up and heard me playing and how she smiled to herself. It always surprises me how life gives me the perfect moments to hold on to. So I led her into the kitchen slowly playing her fave song. "Oye mami, ben aqui! come eat a lil breakfast with me. I've cooked for you and may our mornings be spent like this for many more to come!" She smiled and giggled bout how goofy my songs were. She said, "Papi I'd spend these mornings like this only if you make up a new song every morning!" I simply smile lean in and taste those beautiful soft lips again! How I have come to love her good morning kisses. We sit down and eat. I take in every moment that we share and store it into my memory like all the pictures of us up on the walls captured moments of happiness scattered in our new home. As we taste our last bite of food I lean over move her hair out of the way smile and give her one more soft good morning kiss nice and slow. My lips smile a bit within our kiss and I look into her eyes. I decide with out a second guess I will make up a new song every morning and we will spend every morning just like this.....

It begins...

2010-01-09T07:10:00.006-06:00

I stood outside the airport looking out into a world that I have never known. The air carried a crisp cool breeze my hands a bit sweaty as I stand there nervous. She drives up into the arrivals her eyes searching and breathe a bit shallow as she looks for him. This is the first time she has been so excited and so wreckless at the same time! She sees me and her heart jumps in her chest like a fluttery hummingbird. She breathes slow tries to catch her breathe before she pulls up to him. He know she is coming he jus talked to her. He is smiling jus ready to meet her for the first time. She stands outside her car he catches her eyes and she says the first, "Hello there, Travis!?" I smile a bit lost in her beauty and replies, "Well today is a good day!" and with those words she knows. She pops the hood and while he loads his luggage in the back she looks through the back mirror talking to herself, "stay calm, wow my heart is jittery, calm he is gorgeous!" As I approach the passenger side and I think, "Whoa that is some kind of amazing!" I opens the door looks to her as she looks back, "Hey beautiful." His eyes seem to look into her soul like no one has ever even tried. Her heart quivers a bit. She simple replies, "Hey you, lets get this show on the road." She turns the music down jus a tad and looks over to see him looking out through the windows in complete fascination of this world around him but he turns to look at her and his first words are, "How are you?" She blinks thinking for a minute she felt as if no one had ever asked her about herself and meant it. He looks to her she feels him touching her soul. She can only come up with, "I'm Good!" Though her soul wanted to leap for joy and scream to the world, "Oh yay Its my birthdaaaaaay!" while dancing all her best dance moves! She smiles thinking of this. He tells her his glad to hear it and speaks of how happy he is. His heart racing wanting to hold her hand possible share a soft passionate kiss. I see her reaching to adjust the radio station and I reach out and take hold of her hand look at her and says, "This is fine babe." She feels her heart feeling all types of joy cause he didn't let go of her hand. She repeats in her head, "his hand feels so nice" Our hands speak volumes of how young love can grow from such a simple touch. How the words of a heart can't truly express how amazing it feels as we hold hands. In that moment their hearts are in sync like the perfect chords playing their first song together. He watches her drive taking in every bit of her and adding her to his memory. How her hair drapes along her face. How her eyes are look of such beauty, innocent yet her soul mature. Her lips look of soft joy. The touch of her skins engulfs me with a pure smile something I have never felt. Its so amazing how she can bring adjectives to life for him. I have never known someone who could bring so many words to life. Here in this car on this drive the beginning of his journey in his wild life and its here I find the perfect place for my soul....Here with her...I smile ready for the journey....and so it begins...

Hands Clasped

2009-12-16T11:21:00.002-06:00

Our hands clasped together as we sit on the park bench next to one another. We lean to eachother and share the perfect kiss of passion and love. My heart beats with the vigor of a warrior going into battle. Your mind set on our goals yet to achieve. Our souls shine with determination knowing what we face. We both look of into the rising sun with it brings a day of unknown that we face with true loyalty and appreciation for this love we have for eachother. I look at you as my mind lingers from memory to memory...Our first late night conversation...our first heart felt kiss...the first time we share a bed and woke up next to you lying there...how my soul smiled the biggest smile I had ever known in my life. The Lord truly has given my world the perfect reason to create a better life and not jus for myself but for you. That alone has given my soul, my heart and my mind purpose to succeed in everything that will better us. She looks at me and her soul walks through memories of us...the night we silently shared our dreams on the balcony with her wrapped in my arms and how the simple kiss on her shoulder made her feel on top of the world...the days we spent in the car driving around aimlessly and talked of random things while listening to her favorite song, Song For You by Michael Buble, how every time she heard that very song she couldn't help but take my hand in hers and then kiss my hand...How intense her heart felt the first time we met, like it could literally jump out of her chest, and how each time we looked into eachothers eyes with out shyness but with pure honest passion for the most amazing person she had ever met....how in this moment you have truly found happiness that pours out of every bit of your body. She feels the with every breathe she takes that I am hers and she is mine. Her body, her soul, her life she has given to the pursuit of happiness with the man she loves. We share a smile and without words we both not only know but feel the love that has engulfed us down to our bones. We get up as if in unison take a deep breathe as we walk off to face the world and all it has to offer soul mates who's fire burns as bright as stars. We walk with our hands clasped off to the great unknown...

Life is Love and Life is Lost

2009-12-05T10:10:00.003-06:00

7abeebti I know life's been hard.
Sitting here with your broken heart.
Life is Love an Life is Lost
Comes with the deal just know I am here...

Watching you from across the bed,
Tears creeping into your world of sad.
I take your hand wrap my around you
and whisper, its okay.

You ask me, WHY?
and with my draining breathe
I say, "This is how life is."
a devastating fight for hope that always ends.

So live your life for the things you love,
Don't leave the world without a full heart.
with smiles, laughter and hope.
Cause when you leave your time is done.

7abeebti I know life's been hard.
Sitting here with your broken heart.
Life is Love an Life is Lost
Comes with the deal just know I am here...

I Could Lay Here In Your Touch...

2009-11-15T13:19:00.002-06:00

Its midnight and here I lay on this bed of ours. I looked down on my chest and there you lay. Asleep to the world around you. A smile creeps to my lips as I realize I could lay here in your touch with no complaints every night till the day I leave this earth. Its moments like this that truly makes me believe that the Lord has somehow touched me and granted me more blessings then i should have. Everyday you surprise me with something new and takes me new heights. Though you may find me saying this more and more as these years continue know that every word is true. You are the best thing in my world. I look forward to the new discovery's of you. I lay my head back with that smile still upon my face and my heart completely feeling that this is the life. I hope everyone gets to experience the beauty that you have brought to me. I thank you Lord for giving such a fulfilling gift of hope and happiness that is within you, beautiful. I lean in kiss your forehead, lean my head back as I close my eyes and drift to sleep.

Beyond Your Touch

2009-11-15T01:52:00.003-06:00

I sit on the edge of the bed with my hands over my face as I look out the window. The sun comes to welcome the world to another day. The silence only broken by the thoughts in my head as I remember what I had. I feel my heart though hurt so determined to overcome. I smile at the aspect of whats to come today. I get up take a shower as the water washes over my eyes I can almost see your face in front of me again. My heart beats with passion for a new lover as the I hear the music from my ipod brings my soul to sing, " I look at you and smile cause I am over youuuu!" I smile at these words. I finish my shower and get ready for my day. I look in the mirror, how your smile still lingers. Some how its been 2 months since you left this home of ours and I have managed to live beyond your touch. I smile looking to the new day knowing that you could never destroy me like you tried. I have overcome you and I will not fall to you. I am the best thing your world ever knew. Funny how life works cause your gonna realize it soon and by then its gonna be to late. Its already too late I am a new person. I have grown and this is my world now!

The Sinner's Path

2009-11-08T10:33:00.001-06:00

It's another night for the Sinner, as he makes his rounds drink for drink partying the night away. At the end as on every night he finds himself another victim. She has soft skin, sexy curves and all he needs to break her smile. She becomes the apple of his eye, the color in his world and for one night only she is his world. Every morning she finds a note telling her thanks for the beautiful time and he ends it with a lie, "I will see you soon." She smiles, she laughs and she cries. The path of the Sinner continues as she wakes up for her day. Her husband calls and says he will be home soon. She cleans up the house and puts everything back into its place one picture frame at a time. She steps into the shower hopes the water will carry all the dirty ways she's been living away. Truth be told the sins she holds are tattooed on her soul. Never to be leave her scarred heart. Her husband comes home to his house in order, his life back to the perfect way it was before he left. She kisses him and hold's him close tells him how she missed him and that she has needed him every night he was gone. Her husband kisses and talks to her of his time away business meetings, boring conversations and bad food. In the back of his mind flash backs of deceit full ways, lust and nights of pure adultery fill his mind. How Jennifer smelled in his arms. Her laughter as he tickled her in all the right ways. How her lips tasted of strawberry delight. How he enjoyed the touch of her body pressed against his. Now he looks down at his wedding ring remembering how he put it back on right as he walked in the door. Here he is with the woman he loves yet he finds his sinful ways still have a hold of his heart. Little does he know the Sinner's Path is one traveled by everyone. The only difference is how much can your soul take before it breaks......

Breakfast Love

2009-11-04T13:12:00.000-06:00

I wake up in the morning to find toast and orange juice sitting there next to me. Its been one whole year since we have been married and still your love is unquestionable. I take a sip of the orange juice and look around for you. I hear the shower going as I walk towards our bathroom. The steam escaping under the door as I open it to find the glass door to the shower fogged up with all the steam. I say, "Good morning my love!" You reply, "Come in babe the water is ready for you and so am I!" I slip off my clothes and opens the door and as the steam is released from beyond the glass shower door your beautiful physique comes into view. Standing there beneath the shower as the water danced down from your shoulders to the rest of your body. I wrap my hand around the back of your neck as I kiss you for the first time this morning my adrenaline rushes through my veins. You lean your back against the wall as I lean under the water slowly kissing you with a smile. Your beauty has got me in a frenzy of passionate desires, as I take your leg in hand, you look into my eyes begging me to take your body to those new levels of satisfaction. Your arms reach over your head and take hold of the shower head gripping it tightly as you feel me slip into your body with such love and passion your body shivers with joy as you let our your first moan. You pull me close whisper in my ears how much you've wanted me to take you. The water streaming down our bodies as you hike yourself up around my body with both legs locked around me, you lean back with your shoulders touching the wall. You look down at me as your body is screaming for more the intense thrust as we rock into each other with the perfect rhythm. I'm pounding into you as our screams and moans serenade the bathroom. You tell me to take you from behind. You slide down me as we share a deep passionate kiss you as you turn around. You arch your back and I slide into your tight juicy peach. Your body quivers and you tell me right there your G spot is being hit in the right position. Your moans increase with intensity as you the water falls upon your back sliding down to me. You yell," Fassteer.r.r...baaaaa...bbbyyyy...", as I begin to thrust and pound into you with such fire and passion. Our bodies reaching the climax that we both have wanted since I walked into the bathroom. Our bodies convulse in unison as you look back at me with the biggest smile on your face. I lean over and slowly kiss, the woman who not only is in my dreams but is the best fantasy I could ever have. We spend the next 30 minutes slowly cleaning each other and sharing soft kisses and talking bout how our lives have come together to this moment together jus you and me. Then we head out of the shower and our day begins.....The best Breakfast is Love....

You Are Still the Life I Hope to Have

2009-11-02T02:37:00.002-06:00

We left each others lives two years ago...

Now your living a life with someone new where normalcy has become work, home and sleep. You repeat these steps daily waiting for your weekends of Rock Band, drinks and hanging out with friends. You still read books and get lost in new worlds of adventure. You have come to hate work and left your ambitions of becoming a pharmacist. You once loved going to concerts and now you stay at home.

How things have changed with you...You were so full of life...trying to reach the sky was always your goal...now you sit on earth content...

I have moved to another country where I go to work to watch concerts, meet celebrities, and hang out with people from all walks of life. I still write from the heart full of emotions. I have become cold-hearted to the women who I have come across though they were amazing women. I guard what I have left of myself with my sharp words and devilish smile. Never wanting to be broken in such a way again. I spend my nights in the most random places. I let life take me to a where ever it may lead. Taking risk with my life, I was never prone to do that before. Yet here I am forever changed....

How I have changed with out you...Once cautious now running wild and free...Once a loving heart now one that is willing to destroy without any thought...

We were once our very own rebel unit. You'd let me know what you wanted to accomplish i'd plan it out and we'd take the world by storm. You'd always come up with new things you wanted to do, I'd jus want to lay down with you. We always found new ways to change the world around us. I'd jack my mom's car so we could go to a concert because you wanted to go! We'd spend time together even when our familes hated it! You my vanilla ice cream and me caramel topping. All the inside jokes and personal stories we shared. We had become best friends in love. How lovely it once was.

I don't know how you feel bout me but you are still the life I hope to have...

Come Lay With Me

2009-11-02T01:31:00.002-06:00

I am laying in bed watching you fix your hair as you get ready for the day. You go into your closet pick out an outfit for the day. Your just as beautiful as the first day we met. Its been 4 years since that day and still I just wanna tell you come lay with me. We keep things simple and always spice up our lives. You the beauty who has taken my life in your hands and held it firm. I love you...

As I lean back in bed and recall our first date. A stupid movie where we laughed and made of the movie the whole time. Then we grabbed a bit out our favorite Spanish food spot, Abuelo's. I still remember how you had taco sauce streaming down your chin and in that exact moment I knew this woman is everything I could have wanted. I still laugh at how that was my first thought, but truth be told it was. After dinner I had this undying urge to show you my favorite place to sit and think. I took you to my place in the world where I could turn on music lay on the hood of my truck and jus stare up at the sky lost in my mind. We pull up to Lake Travis in my area and I park. I hop up on the hood of my truck help you up and I lean back lay down as you lay on my chest. We talk for hours til the sunset rises and in this moment I look into your eyes, we kiss and I know this is it for me. I have found the woman of my dreams, you.

I come back to reality and your standing there smile on your face, you tell me, "I have 30 minutes baby." I simply say, "Come lay with me." You lay on my chest as I kiss your forehead. I love these moments with you.

My only reply was..."I'm broken..."

2009-11-01T19:23:00.003-06:00

I stood there looking down at you as you cried your heart out to me. You gripped at my pants telling me that you loved me, you needed me and how life would never be the same. Your tears soaked the earth as I stood silent. I felt my heart beat as it attempted to show me past memories of our first kiss (oh so soft), our first night together (passionate night of love), our first morning together (the best breakfast in bed), the jokes we shared, the world we created and all the greatest moments we ever shared. Yet here I stood still silent calm almost emotionless as you poured out your heart to me. Asking me, "WHY? WHY LEAVE ME? WHY?" Your emotions reaching out of every pore of your body trying to take hold of me. Let me feel the pain, the misery, the complete and utter sadness within your soul. I look down at you an I walk towards the door. You sit there on your knees barely able to speak as your eyes meet the ground you whisper, "Why?!" I look back at you and my only reply is..."I'm broken..." I am no good at this thing you call love. I know that this is and has been devastating for you. But know my heart does care for you yet this how it must be. I walk out an don't look back, this is how I must live. I am broken and the last pieces of me I want to keep in place. So I leave before the pain, I won't be hurt again....Leaving you to deal with my insecurities alone...here in the house full of our memories as I leave for the last time...

Rebuild Your World

2009-10-31T14:36:00.003-05:00

My days have found themselves thinking about you. Your smile has caught me off guard. We share stories on the phone and I find myself happy that you have joined me on this journey called life. You tell me of past days, I tell you of past nights and we become closer with every new word brought into our world. You have this knack for surprising me and I have a knack for kissing you. As our world is being rebuilt we watch as the new sun has brought new life to a city left to its own self destruction.

Let this be notice to all that life will be an unpredictable devastating kiss that can destroy but you can always rebuild your world. I know the pain may remain but it won't hurt as much. Life is ever changing but when you need it you will have the right person there at the right time.

Kodak Moments

2009-10-31T13:58:00.003-05:00

There are moments in life that I stopped and freeze framed things in my mind to always remember the memory.

I lay here with you sleeping on my chest. You look so peaceful in your dreams. Here I lay loving this moment. I say a prayer thank God for this blessing this moment for me to live. I thank you for these are the moments a man is meant to live and cherish. You breathe lightly on me and I realize that I have never known love as I do with you. I want this to be the way I live forever. You and me.

In the Background the band plays, the crowd is as live as they can be singing, laughing and screaming at the top of their lungs! I stand there behind you watching you sing with the biggest smile on your face. You heart is cheering with joy of uncontrollable emotion! Your jumping up and down the expressing every bit of the songs played. I am there right with you knowing that this is a moment I will never forget with you.

I lay there and for the first time I feel you lay upon my chest. You look up at me and I am taken back by the beauty that I have found. Our lips finally meet and here on this day I felt the fire rise in me. We have waited for this moment for what seemed like years. I have never been so surprised by a woman as I was when we were finally together. You were even more stunning and amazing then I would have ever thought. Though I had to leave know that I truly could have stayed there with a complete smile in my heart.

Your Name Still Brings a Smile to My Face

2009-10-31T13:44:00.002-05:00

I thought it would be another day woke up, brushed my teeth, took a shower, got ready for the day and headed out to the world. I was waiting for my coffee and there outside I saw you walk by. Your smile still an amazing gift to the world. You hit my heart like your kiss to my lips a true butterfly effect. My legs feeling light as I took my coffee walked outside and felt the urge to find you. Your name still rang true in my heart the only woman I have ever loved and your name still brought a smile to my face. My life may never be better then it was but I have managed. You moved on in a path I'm sure I would have love to follow but alas I had to walk this one. I decided that maybe it was better if you lived your life without such a destructive force as me. So I took my coffee and walked in the opposite direction and even though this is the path I chose I still hoped you would come back...to..me.....

I will take your pain

2009-10-31T09:15:00.002-05:00

I sit here in the chair across from your bed watching over you as you endure such pain. Your bones ache and your body has succumb to this tragedy. The worst part is your heart has received the worst blow. I can see the tears your soul cries and my heavy heart can't take it. So I kneel down by your bed side and pray. "Dear Lord, today another one of your angels on earth is hurting. I ask only this that you may allow me to carry their sorrows as my own because she is not meant to carry such a load. My heart can take the atrocities that she holds within her... Amen." As I take your hand in mine, I slowly kiss it. I will take your pain for you. Your heart deserves to have happiness again. Tomorrow you can face what may come with a stronger heart. I will do this for you because my love is as strong as it comes... Sleep now angel for you have a new day ahead of you... Goodnight...

I find my self screaming to the sky...

2009-10-30T19:31:00.005-05:00

I drop to my knees almost lifeless. My fist tighten as I pound the ground with all the strength in me. I look up to the sky scream out a devastating scream. Here in this grave yard, I find all the emotional anguish tearing at my body. I let myself be engulfed by this self medicated misery. Its been two years and I still find myself here at your grave. Screaming to the sky, "WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?" But he never answer me. My thought of anger, deceit and sadness swell up in my body. Gripping at my soul like a destructive force of nature. I prayed I swear I did. I was a good person I know I was. I asked for you to be saved and take me as my only request. Yet here I am. Alone. There had to be way. I know your up there hating what I have become, but where do I go when my life was, is you... I still wake up with tears already crawling down my face because in my dreams I find the solitude of happiness I will never have with you when I awake. Your side of the bed still sit as it did the day you left. My answers may never be answered and my pain may never leave til I die, but my love will last forever and when I leave this world your legacy will be carried on with in our child. Good night my love, my heart, my wife....my...reas..on..to..bre..athe... I kiss the grass that you now sleep beneath and begin my slow walk back to my new life without you...

Despite My Flaws

2009-10-30T00:19:00.002-05:00

Despite My Flaws
You still held strong
Despite My Mistakes
You still show'd love
Despite My Life
You still believed in us.

I was never good for commitment. I used to give amazement then replace it with resentment. You held firm in your belief that I was better below the surface. When your theory was proved wrong still you stood tall. Not willing to give up on your heart against other women you stood apart. Your heart shined even when it felt dark. Hold your title now you have proven to be the CHAMPION OF MY HEART.

Despite My Changes
You still knew
Despite My Vices
You still stayed true
Despite My Misfortune
You still supported your love

Now in this I dedicate this to the Best Woman in my life. Beauty, Brains, and a Bad Ass the only one that could be my wife. Amazingly talented woman that would never be denied. Every obstacle was just another reason to fight. You took love beyond just passion in the bed and brought it to every minute of the day. So here I stand finally holding you in my arms and together these dreams shall be ours. The world cannot stop us from becoming what we are meant to be! Champions of Life.

Despite Myself I finally see what a Real Woman is....You....

I say I miss you....but the truth is I'm jus lonely heart...

2009-10-29T06:32:00.000-05:00

I looked beyond the light on my desk. There still in the frame was a picture of us. I loved that picture so there it sat a reminder of loved trapped in the past. I feel my heart twinkle an the sight of your smile. I say I miss you... You were the light at the end of my tunnel. I let it fade as I do all great things in my life. They say you only come across 3 true loves in your life. I can happily say you were teh first. I used to relish in your touch. Relinquish my soul to you. Then like I always do I ran from what was perfect for me to what was worst. Though I have chosen to hide myself from the world. I hope you atleast knew at one point you knew everything I was. I sit here staring beyond this light on my desk and I say I miss you.... but the truth is I'm jus lonely tonight. You were always the easy kill. I can't bring myself to call you because I would jus be using your for the moment. Your worth a lifetime not moments in life. I hope you find what I couldn't bring myself to give. May your smile bring joy to anothers world. Here I sit in my own misery......Live on....Love....Trust....Believe....you were always meant to do better then me.....

Here I sit on this bed looking down at you...

2009-10-29T04:55:00.000-05:00

You came to me before your words of doubt or disbelief could leave your mouth. I kissed you soft sensual jus the right amount love. As our eyes closed you leaned in and kissed my chest. I've missed that simple kiss. I kiss your forehead. I look deep into your eyes and I feel the emotions rise in me. I take you in my arms as your legs wrap around me. I carry you to the bed your still wearing your summer dress. As I lay you down I kiss your neck slowly sliding my tongue along to your earlobe. The taste of you is of delightful bliss. Your body rocks in motion as my hand finds your gentle spot. I slide the strap of your dress down as i kiss your shoulders an back to your neck right beneath your chin. I continue to your clavicle then to your beautiful breasts. As my hand continues to rub you in jus the right way your body rocking in slow motion. Your moans are soft almost whispers. You watch me as you feel my breathe lingering over your nipple you feel my tongue slow suck on you and I gently nibble with jus the right amount to turn you on fire. You let a moan letting me know that is jus how you like it. I take off my pants and hike up your dress as you look at me you feel me slide into you and I feel your body soft warm tight. You scream as I begin to thrust deeper inside of you. I pull you close to my chest. You grip on to the sheets with an intense scream. Telling me more! I take you into my arms and lean you against the head board. Your hands extend and take a tight hold on to it as I thrust faster and deeper in to you! Your screaming louder as our sweaty bodies collide. Two passionate lovers expressing everything we've ever felt in these moments of Love! Your body begins to convulse as you feel me get deeper moaning faster louder harder!! You pull me to you telling me don't stop. I pound faster and faster into you harder and hitting you with even more intensity! Our bodies tense as I thrust deep penetrating you with such vigor an our bodies shake with pure bliss reaching the climax that we have both wanted! You smile as we share a few more kisses. We lay down an fall into our sleep, bodies exhausted and in some need of sleep.

Here I sit on the bed looking down at you...wondering, no knowing. As much as I want this to work. This will be the end. A night of passion and calm sleep for the first time in months. I write on a note, "Goodbye my love" slip it under a cup of coffee, leaving the note exposed. Here is where you must stay an out that door is the direction I must take....May you live love and learn...may happiness not elude you... goodbye....to a life that I am not meant to know.....